After nearly 10 years of higher education and well over $100,000.00 in student loans it suddenly occurred to me. What a waste! EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM BUFFY.
For starters,
“Seize the moment. Cause’ tomorrow you might be dead.”
“What is your childhood trauma?” is the most direct way to attempt to understand a person’s psyche.
Even if you’re like, 400 years old a naughty school-girl outfit can knock off MORE than a few years.
*note to self: buy naughty school-girl outfit. Wear it.
Don’t hangout in cemeteries. What possible good thing could ever come from that?
First dates should be scheduled during daylight hours…in direct sunlight. Second dates should be scheduled during a full moon.
Right or wrong, a symbol matters more than the thing it has come to represent. Meaning, I’m over the whole Jesus debate. Who cares as long as his symbol can keep things from killing me?
Punch first. Ask questions later.
We should attempt to work out a more appropriate retribution/restitution plan for the Native Americans our forefathers brutalized when settling this here “land of the free.” It’d be in everyone’s best interest. Really.
You were right. High school was a really weird experience.
Red heads CAN be sexy…if you give them a corset and leather pants.
Stay away from frat guys.
Eve did NOT bite the apple. There was no apple. And probably no Eve. So “those guys” can stop using that as an excuse as to why women are weak and cannot be trusted to properly handle temptation, and should therefore not be put in positions of leadership and power. It’s official. You made it up. Put that in your goofy hat and bullet-proof golf cart and smoke it!
Faith isn’t ALWAYS a great thing to have. In fact, in can result in death/near-death.
Other people’s sisters seem to be…unnatural occurrences too.
“Angel” isn’t really THAT gay of a name.
F***ing the wrong person can steal your soul and make you do some REALLY f***ed up things. Avoid it if you can.
I want a leather trench coat. PETA can suck it.
If you need to get a seriously difficult/important job done (i.e. saving the world), assign it to a woman. Men are “watchers.”
There is at least one lezzie in every Scooby gang. Right Velma?
If you need time to think, take off your classes and clean them. It’ll come to you.
Don’t pick on the nerd in high school. They’ll probably end up being way cooler than you’ll ever be, and even if they’re not cooler they might end up with the means to destroy you with the flick of their wrist.
*note to self: Damn it! Why wasn’t this series out when I was in high school?!
You were right. Your freshman year college roommate was NOT normal.
Other people’s moms are cooler than mine.
Other people’s moms are WAAAAAY worse than mine.
Don’t take candy from strangers.
Now this we all already knew but, College = let’s find out if I’m a lezzie.
Never buy a home without at least one spare bedroom. You might get a whole lot of house guests at once and you’ll want to be prepared. Otherwise things can get a little tense.
Pirate patches don’t work for everyone.
Everyone should really stop kissing Southern California’s ass. It’s not really that great/safe of a place to be…and not just because of earth quakes and LiLo still having her driver’s license.
Hair dye and/or an English accent can turn a dork into a sexy, bad-ass mo-fo.
*note to self: Get hair dye and/or an English accent.
*note to self: Call Brita.
People who play with dolls are crazy.
One extremely pissed off lezzie with exceptional intelligence can cause a lot—like A LOT of damage.
*note to self: Do what Fannie says. Don’t ask questions. Further; protect her girlfriend at all cost.
Don’t invite strangers into your home. Make sure you pass that on to all of your family members.
Men can get kinda chubby and still be considered cute and adorable and charming and all that stuff. Women are supposed to get skinnier as time goes on.
Note to self: That sucks.
You were right. Your high school principal WAS evil.
Your mom doesn’t get it. That’s ok.
Don’t drink too much. It could make you act…stupid.
If a dead guy starts asking you to do him favors, don’t. I’m guessing he has some sort of ulterior motive.
And most importantly…watch out for the pretty, innocent looking blonde. She’ll kill you.
Well, that’s about it. Quite honestly, I can’t think of anything else I’d need to get by. Wish I knew that $100,000.00 ago!
For starters,
“Seize the moment. Cause’ tomorrow you might be dead.”
“What is your childhood trauma?” is the most direct way to attempt to understand a person’s psyche.
Even if you’re like, 400 years old a naughty school-girl outfit can knock off MORE than a few years.
*note to self: buy naughty school-girl outfit. Wear it.
Don’t hangout in cemeteries. What possible good thing could ever come from that?
First dates should be scheduled during daylight hours…in direct sunlight. Second dates should be scheduled during a full moon.
Right or wrong, a symbol matters more than the thing it has come to represent. Meaning, I’m over the whole Jesus debate. Who cares as long as his symbol can keep things from killing me?
Punch first. Ask questions later.
We should attempt to work out a more appropriate retribution/restitution plan for the Native Americans our forefathers brutalized when settling this here “land of the free.” It’d be in everyone’s best interest. Really.
You were right. High school was a really weird experience.
Red heads CAN be sexy…if you give them a corset and leather pants.
Stay away from frat guys.
Eve did NOT bite the apple. There was no apple. And probably no Eve. So “those guys” can stop using that as an excuse as to why women are weak and cannot be trusted to properly handle temptation, and should therefore not be put in positions of leadership and power. It’s official. You made it up. Put that in your goofy hat and bullet-proof golf cart and smoke it!
Faith isn’t ALWAYS a great thing to have. In fact, in can result in death/near-death.
Other people’s sisters seem to be…unnatural occurrences too.
“Angel” isn’t really THAT gay of a name.
F***ing the wrong person can steal your soul and make you do some REALLY f***ed up things. Avoid it if you can.
I want a leather trench coat. PETA can suck it.
If you need to get a seriously difficult/important job done (i.e. saving the world), assign it to a woman. Men are “watchers.”
There is at least one lezzie in every Scooby gang. Right Velma?
If you need time to think, take off your classes and clean them. It’ll come to you.
Don’t pick on the nerd in high school. They’ll probably end up being way cooler than you’ll ever be, and even if they’re not cooler they might end up with the means to destroy you with the flick of their wrist.
*note to self: Damn it! Why wasn’t this series out when I was in high school?!
You were right. Your freshman year college roommate was NOT normal.
Other people’s moms are cooler than mine.
Other people’s moms are WAAAAAY worse than mine.
Don’t take candy from strangers.
Now this we all already knew but, College = let’s find out if I’m a lezzie.
Never buy a home without at least one spare bedroom. You might get a whole lot of house guests at once and you’ll want to be prepared. Otherwise things can get a little tense.
Pirate patches don’t work for everyone.
Everyone should really stop kissing Southern California’s ass. It’s not really that great/safe of a place to be…and not just because of earth quakes and LiLo still having her driver’s license.
Hair dye and/or an English accent can turn a dork into a sexy, bad-ass mo-fo.
*note to self: Get hair dye and/or an English accent.
*note to self: Call Brita.
People who play with dolls are crazy.
One extremely pissed off lezzie with exceptional intelligence can cause a lot—like A LOT of damage.
*note to self: Do what Fannie says. Don’t ask questions. Further; protect her girlfriend at all cost.
Don’t invite strangers into your home. Make sure you pass that on to all of your family members.
Men can get kinda chubby and still be considered cute and adorable and charming and all that stuff. Women are supposed to get skinnier as time goes on.
Note to self: That sucks.
You were right. Your high school principal WAS evil.
Your mom doesn’t get it. That’s ok.
Don’t drink too much. It could make you act…stupid.
If a dead guy starts asking you to do him favors, don’t. I’m guessing he has some sort of ulterior motive.
And most importantly…watch out for the pretty, innocent looking blonde. She’ll kill you.
Well, that’s about it. Quite honestly, I can’t think of anything else I’d need to get by. Wish I knew that $100,000.00 ago!
6 comments:
All true. Whaddya know, TV can serve a purpose!
Nicely done.
(I miss Buffy and the gang. I'm still in mourning.)
We should start a support group.
Haha, funny stuff. Fortunately I did have buffy while in high school and I found it extremely educational. It definitely beat out felicity and dawson's creek in the entertainment factor.
did you see how i figured out the whole blogs i like thing? are you proud? i'm so damn smart. ok FINE! Fannie totally helped me! SHUT UP! now...about the times zones...
love it
nice post love reading it.
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