The WAWA Sisterhood!

Dear Jenny,

DUDE! It's your birthday! Ever since that beautiful day when you gazed into my eyes and said, "Dude, if you try to make me munch box we can't be friends." you have been the Tango to my Cash. The Laverne to my Shirley. The Cage to my Jack. And other gay-ass shit. You've withstood threats on your mother from mine. Meriwether family Christmas trees, Letters of Dismissal, Leo the Dick, Laura, ME, my break ups, me "reeeeeally meaning it this time!", you brought donuts to my grandmother's funeral (and came to the church way early b/c I had to be there way early...I really loved my grandmother. You got that without making me say it and sound like a pussy), and SOOOOOOOO much more.

You think that singing in a person's face in a car ride is ok. More than ok. It is expected. You know that me going home means I'm actually going to your house while I stop by my mom's a few times. You pretty much just assume you're picking me up from the airport. You never complain about it. You gave me your green shirt when I moved away. You stopped talking to me for a REALLY long time the year I forgot your birthday, and I wasn't all THAT concerned because I knew we'd eventually be fine again. That's how we are. I'm sure that you love me. You and only one other person (actual statistic). You've ridden out my career changes. And you make me laugh. We both think the other person is funnier. I'm right. And you too believe that posing for weird pictures is the right thing to do. You too believe that food IS therapy...especially since if it's from WAWA. And you fully support my idea to move to the fictional town of Stars Hollow.

This could go on forever. What it really comes down to is that it's awesome how we're awesome.
To the WAWA sisterhood!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!

-rem

p.s. remember how this time last year we spent the day in court shaking our heads at my brother in disbelief??? BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!

How To Cut Costs During A Gas And Mortgage Crisis; every little bit counts

Dear Aime Bergeron and Sameer Herrera,

Thank you for your near daily emails informing me that I can get "Viagra and many other items" for only $1. ONE DOLLAR!? What a deal! Normally filling my Viagra prescription breaks the bank! In a time where gas is nearly five bucks a gallon and the mortgage crisis has us by the balls, every little bit counts!
Thanks again,
rem

Point of interest:
Things I don't have/own:

1. A car


2. A condo/mortgage


3. Balls

Thank You CTA, #22 Bus!

Dear CTA #22 Bus,

I’d like to take a moment out of my day to say, thank you! Thank you for making it so that all three of me can commute at the same time. I just know that my boss won’t care that because the bus was 15 minutes late my one self was 15 minutes late. Not when three #22 busses show up at my stop at pretty much exactly the same time. Again, allowing all three of me to arrive at work at exactly the same time. Though my one self was 15 minutes late, my other two simultaneously commuting selves came with. Three of me equals triple the work, right? So who needs that extra 15 minutes? Not me. Not my boss. Not my clients. That 15 minutes (should I ever actually get it back) is just gravy! Between the three of us, looks like I might get out of work early today! Maybe the three of us will get home in time to watch a 4:00 Gilmore Girls rerun. We love that show. So again, thank you CTA #22 bus! Without your precise planning and execution only one of me would show up to work…on time.

p.s. I hope the simultaneous commuting me's didn’t smell what I did on my bus on their busses. I don’t know if they’d bounce back from something like that.