The Godfather III and Cousin-F***ing

So, I’ve performed my daily duties.
I’ve researched the crap out of the topic of my next paper. I went to my waxing appointment, scheduled two health related appointments, went to the gym, tidied up my house, and my pets are all walked and fed…SO, I’ve taken myself to the couch now, remote in one hand, book in the other (I have the attention span of a five year old, so I read during commercials instead of waiting 180 seconds for my show to come back on.).

Anyway, I am pleased to find that there are about thirty minutes left in the Godfather II and that III is to follow. Despite the fact that I own all three on DVDs and have seen them each about 50+ times, I am still very excited and feeling blessed (even when you own movies it’s way cooler to watch them when they come on TV…it’s almost like God is catering to you.). I open a bottle of wine and start soaking in my glorified Sicilian roots. Half way through my bottle (it’s how I measure time, i.e. “Yes your Honor, I am TOTALLY sure. It happened at about ¾ of the way into my pinot, which means it was precisely 8:13pm.”) everything was going very well…until about 2 glasses of pinot into part III. For those of you who know the movie it’s the part where Michael is having a party for being honored by the Pope. The part where Mary (played by Sophia Coppola…badly.), who is the son of Michael, begins to flirt with Anthony and be very sexually assertive. Her cousin. Her father’s brother’s son. From this point on in the movie the relationship grows…it becomes, shall we say…intimate??? Yes, in one of the most famous trilogies of all time, one of THE most respected cinematic stories ever told, there is cousin fucking and NO ONE EVER SAYS SHIT ABOUT IT!!!

What don’t I get? I’m not trying to take anything away from the Godfathers. I LOVE them. I would talk dirty to them if I thought they’d talk back. But I must ask myself; why have I never ONCE heard ANYONE say something like, “Hey, these movies are really, really good, but what’s with the cousin-fucking?” I guess I’m almost as guilty as the next gal, having gone the greater part of my life watching these movies without asking the question myself, but better late than never. I remember being a teenager and thinking it was creepy and weird when Cher from Clueless started dating her ex-step-brother Josh, and that’s not even NEARLY as strange as this…not to mention, it’s not illegal…like 1st cousin-fucking is in most states. So I guess what I’m wondering is why the whole goddamn county has something to say about whom everyone is fucking (the gays, inter-racial couples, inter-religious couples, this afore mentioned beef that I have (http://femiftheycanttakeajoke.blogspot.com/2008/02/on-fucking-your-exs-friends-and-people.html), and yet everyone from the average joe to an artsy film critic to each and every stupid frat boy and boner athlete in college that I railed simply to be able to sneak out of their room in the wee small hours of morning with one of their cooler hoodie sweatshirts, had a Godfather poster on their wall (right next to their Scarface poster…don’t even get me started on that)…yes, ladies and gents, a tribute to cousin-fucking. I mean, do your thing and I’ll do mine but know that the next time you want to tell me about how morally depraved I am I will be sure to reference your love and support of cousin-fucking.