I must remain vague with my details so as to not disclose the person(s) or institution(s) they represent. I got JUST now got off the phone with and individual who is, to put it vaguely, a mentor of mine, a leader in their field, and a person in whose hands much of my future rests.
A lot of the conversation doesn’t really matter…until THIS; "…we just got out of a meeting about you…and we can’t decide if you’ll be famous or infamous, so we’re going to rear you for both…”
Let that marinate…
*helpful details for imagery*
1. They were NOT kidding. They didn’t even laugh, they actually seemed quit irritated when they said it.
2. The only response I could muster was, “Ok. See you Monday.”
3. This is true. Nothing was added and the only things omitted were names, places, and other personal info.
4. The "famous" thing is obviously blowing smoke up my ass. Those of you who know me know that I'm pretty average.
Continue to let that marinate…I know I will…no, seriously…what was that all about?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Mother's Words of Wisdom
I talked to my mom on the phone two nights ago. Not a very common occurrence because, well...she doesn't really like me that much. But she had news and so she called. The news was decent (my family will not stop growing...I am soon to be the oldest of 7. Honestly, I can't afford it.). She asked me about school, work, and music (the standard). She validated my successes and ignored my failures (I’m thinking she had a good 3/4 of a bottle of Shiraz under her belt at this point in the night...it smoothes over the failures part). When we were getting off the phone she said, "keep at it honey. I’m proud of my baby-girl, and when things get confusing remember my rules to live by." 1st of all, I'm not so sure what the proud part is about. I'm not being humble people; I'm telling you the truth. I do NOTHING, and when I appear to do something good it is entirely self-serving with the mask of altruism. 2nd of all, I'm going to be 30 this summer...and yet I'm still “baby-girl”.
Anyway, last night was...well, "confusing" to say the least and so I decided to take her advice. I sat and thought back to being a newly 18 year old girl being dropped of at college by her mother and her aunt. I thought about the sense of terror and sadness I felt at the realization that after wishing to be left alone for the past 6 or so years, I was actually about to be.
I'm guessing my mom saw that look on my face. And we had one of those moments. I guess they're different for each mother-daughter pair. For us it's that look in her eye that says, "This very moment I don't resent you for being born when I was so young and ruining my life." and I look back at her with a look that says, "This very moment I don't resent you for ignoring me for most of my life." It's very touching...from what I remember. Anyway, having seen the look on my face she sat me down on the probably STD infested dorm room mattress and said, "Listen, I know you're scared. You're supposed to be. It's what you do with that that matters. Life isn't as hard as people make it. All you need is a few simple rules to live by. You stick with them and you'll always be ok." I asked her if they were different for everybody and she said, "No. That's the mistake people make. They think the rules are different for everyone. If that were the case the world would be chaos, wouldn't it?" I agreed and asked her if she'd tell me what they are or if I'm supposed to figure them out. She said, "Maybe you're supposed to figure them out. But I'm your mom, so I'm going to tell you." So she did. She listed them in order of importance. I needed some clarity last night so I went over them again in my head. Here they are. My mother's rules to live by (in order of importance):
#7. The moment a person says "I'm not crazy..." walk away. Do not offer an explanation.
#6. Never, EVER refuse a free drink. It is rude, and worse it is stupid.
#5. Never fuck with an African-American grandmother. They have endured more than you ever will and as a result can kick the shit out of you with words alone...but you're lucky if words are all they use.
#4. When someone offers you something to eat/taste/smell and they have a weird look on their face, don't. In fact, remember that that person isn't your friend and don't ever talk to them again. Again, offer no explanation.
#3. Don't blame it on me. Blame it on your father.
#2. If it is tall and it is blonde it is your enemy. Yes, that includes your aunt ________.
And #1....................................
NEVER trust a woman whose upper thighs don't rub together.
"That's it?" I asked her? "That's it." She said. And as life went on I could see more and more that she was right. These rules were all I really needed to get by. And so every time I lose my way, I sit and I think, "What were my rules to live by, again?" And I hear my mom's voice telling me what I need to know to live well...or at least NOT live badly. And so I wanted to share them with all of you.
So, thanks mom. It is times like these where I just want to say, "I'm really glad it's illegal for my therapist to tell you what I say."
Cheers!
Anyway, last night was...well, "confusing" to say the least and so I decided to take her advice. I sat and thought back to being a newly 18 year old girl being dropped of at college by her mother and her aunt. I thought about the sense of terror and sadness I felt at the realization that after wishing to be left alone for the past 6 or so years, I was actually about to be.
I'm guessing my mom saw that look on my face. And we had one of those moments. I guess they're different for each mother-daughter pair. For us it's that look in her eye that says, "This very moment I don't resent you for being born when I was so young and ruining my life." and I look back at her with a look that says, "This very moment I don't resent you for ignoring me for most of my life." It's very touching...from what I remember. Anyway, having seen the look on my face she sat me down on the probably STD infested dorm room mattress and said, "Listen, I know you're scared. You're supposed to be. It's what you do with that that matters. Life isn't as hard as people make it. All you need is a few simple rules to live by. You stick with them and you'll always be ok." I asked her if they were different for everybody and she said, "No. That's the mistake people make. They think the rules are different for everyone. If that were the case the world would be chaos, wouldn't it?" I agreed and asked her if she'd tell me what they are or if I'm supposed to figure them out. She said, "Maybe you're supposed to figure them out. But I'm your mom, so I'm going to tell you." So she did. She listed them in order of importance. I needed some clarity last night so I went over them again in my head. Here they are. My mother's rules to live by (in order of importance):
#7. The moment a person says "I'm not crazy..." walk away. Do not offer an explanation.
#6. Never, EVER refuse a free drink. It is rude, and worse it is stupid.
#5. Never fuck with an African-American grandmother. They have endured more than you ever will and as a result can kick the shit out of you with words alone...but you're lucky if words are all they use.
#4. When someone offers you something to eat/taste/smell and they have a weird look on their face, don't. In fact, remember that that person isn't your friend and don't ever talk to them again. Again, offer no explanation.
#3. Don't blame it on me. Blame it on your father.
#2. If it is tall and it is blonde it is your enemy. Yes, that includes your aunt ________.
And #1....................................
NEVER trust a woman whose upper thighs don't rub together.
"That's it?" I asked her? "That's it." She said. And as life went on I could see more and more that she was right. These rules were all I really needed to get by. And so every time I lose my way, I sit and I think, "What were my rules to live by, again?" And I hear my mom's voice telling me what I need to know to live well...or at least NOT live badly. And so I wanted to share them with all of you.
So, thanks mom. It is times like these where I just want to say, "I'm really glad it's illegal for my therapist to tell you what I say."
Cheers!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
