Americans Not Yet Ready to Go Green, Too Busy Going Blue

As an individual who works in the behavioral health field, I often just automatically assume everyone is nuts. Before we go any further I think it’s important for me to define Schizophrenia to those of you who are unfamiliar with the DSM IV’s definition of the disease. There’s a lot to it but for the purposes of this post all you need to know is that “The characteristic symptoms of Schizophrenia involve a range of cognitive and emotional dysfunctions that include perception, infernal thinking, language and communication…and symptoms associated with impaired occupational or social functioning.” To put it simply, those with schizophrenia often times have trouble with reality and perception and much of the time they have visual and auditory hallucinations. As in they see and hear things that are not there. Often they talk to themselves. I’m talking full out conversations. There’s so much flow to these conversations that at times I’m wondering if I’m the crazy one because I can’t see the other person they’re talking to. The conversation almost makes sense…Like, it’s so detailed on the one end that I can almost imagine what the other (imaginary) person is saying. Or maybe schizophrenics see/hear dead people…but then what do dead people have against me that they’ve several times told my patients to stab me with a pen or to throw books and furniture at me…and, WAIT! I’m getting off track!

Ok, now that you’re all armed with behavior health knowledge and the characteristics of a schizophrenic, enter THE BLUE-TOOTH.

I assume you’re familiar?? That little thing that attaches to your ear and is a phone. So you don’t need to use your hands and your actual phone is no where near your head, allowing you to walk down the street and just talk without having to really deal with your phone. The blue-tooth, though noticeable up close, is pretty small and only attached to one ear. So even from close range, unless you’re on the side of that person’s head where the blue-tooth is attached…well, you just have no idea that it’s even there. It pretty much looks like they’re talking to themselves.

Now most of you know that in any major city the crazies are aplenty. And can be even more easily found on public transportation…which I ride everyday. Further, it’s not as easy as profiling, because there's no shortage of people who skip their rent (and their shower) so that they can afford to have a super-duper neat-o cell phone. And there are a lot of white collar crazies too. TRUST. ME. But either way, the blue-tooth owner is too busy and important to even bother with using their hands. This has lead to some great confusion for me. I find that my everyday life now includes one more very important question. “Crazy person or just really, really busy and important person?” Either way, I’m sure I don’t want to sit near you on the CTA. Actually, if I had to choose (which I often do) I think I’d pick the crazy. They have more time for me, and I like to feel like I matter every now and again.