Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Checking In


Hello y'all!
I've gotten 3 emails and one AIM asking me why I don't blog anymore (now mind you, I'm pretty sure those 4 people are ALL of my readers, but still.). I honestly don't have much of a reason, except that I can't really think of anything to say. My life has been weird for the last several months. I moved. Got a crazy code violating landlord. Moved again. Finished the quarter at school. Started the summer quarter. Got SUPER fat. Have pledged to sell out. Was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and still think it's a mistake. And hit the $200,000.00 mark for my student loans. Don't worry. None of it is as serious as it sounds. Mostly I've been observing/learning. "Observing/learning what?", you may ask. Ah, well allow me to answer you.

*Ahem*

  • Unless you are holding money in your hand, act as though is doesn't exist.
  • I like the show Two and a Half Men and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
  • I like Lady Gaga and I am ashamed to admit it.
  • Some part of me, deeeep, deep down still believes that I TOO can be Elle Woods.
  • Self-deprecation is super in. People love to say they're assholes and tell the world how unsavory of a character they are. I blame Tucker Max.
  • I'm a huge asshole and not of good character.
  • I used to like children. I don't anymore.
  • I used to like puppies. I don't anymore.
  • If someone gave me a huge chunk of money and told me I could either feed 100 orphans or get skinny people surgery, I'd get the surgery. I'd rather be a dick than fat. Sadly, I am now both.
  • I think my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman in the world. Now, I know this is impossible. What would the most beautiful person in the world be doing with me? But still, it's what I think.
  • I'd do pretty much anything to get rid of some of my student loans. I'd even join an armed force. Alas, they may not ask but I sure as hell will tell.
  • My least favorite chore is kitty litter.
  • I love Family Guy. It makes me happy(ish).
  • I have some really brave and tough friends, who have a stronger will than I’ll ever have. Jesus, some of them can bounce!
  • I'm lazy, spoiled, and entitled. After carefully scrutinizing my life it is clear that every problem I have is my fault. Fortunately, much of it can be corrected or salvaged, if I stop being so lazy, spoiled, and entitled.
  • My family is amazing. My aunts and uncles are insanely accomplished and noble. My cousins are all so smart and talented and are sure to take over the world.
  • I'm getting a new baby sibling around Christmas. That's gonna be 5. Now I can say things like, "I am the oldest of 6." Makes me sound like Matt from 7th Heaven...kinda...cause we're only 6. But still.
  • Changing your name is annoying. Even 2 years later. It can do things like mess up your passport/travel plans, causing you to miss your flight, trip, and friend of 18 years wedding. neato.
  • I have yet to figure out what makes a kitty litter "for multiple cats". They all seem the same to me.
  • No seriously, though...why can't I be Elle Woods?
  • I've noticed that life is about money. I'm not saying that money makes people happy, but all of the seemingly happy people I know have some. All of the people considering mixing their Klonopin (yes, everyone is on it) and booze until they are comatose, don't.
  • I wish Buffy and Gilmore Girls were still on. Those shows made me happy.
  • Being a social worker sucks. I feel like any social worker who tells you otherwise is full of shit. Now, I pretty much knew this when I was getting into it, but now I know for sure. Where the hell is my six figure salary for having such a shitty, high risk (gang bangers, addicts, rapist, and other unsavory folks) "helping profession" job?
  • I think rapists should receive the same sentence as 2nd and 1st degree murderers (using the same premeditated vs. not, criteria), because they, in essence, have killed a person.
  • I HATE the reverend Al Sharpton.
  • Papa Joe Jackson is a monster.
  • The 30s (even though this is only my 1st year in my 30s) are WAY different than the 20s. Anything past 24 is just not a good idea.
  • That's pretty much all I've come up with over the last few months. None of it is groundbreaking, but it's all I've got so far.